Attached

Attachment principles teach us that most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. When their emotional needs are met, and the earlier the better, they usually turn their attention outward.

It turns out that the ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on—and this is the “dependency paradox.”

If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, first find the right person to depend on and travel down it with them.

She found that having an attachment figure in the room was enough to allow a child to go out into a previously unknown environment and explore with confidence. This presence is known as a secure base. It is the knowledge that you are backed by someone who is supportive and whom you can rely on with 100 percent certainty and turn to in times of need. A secure base is a prerequisite for a child’s ability to explore, develop, and learn.

expressing your needs and true feelings can be a useful litmus test of the other person’s capacity to meet your needs.

Listen and look for what he or she is not saying or doing.

“All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love.”